24 June 2008

Shieka’s Story

Posted by Yashieka under: HERstory .

“I trusted him with my life and he couldn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.”

I ALLOWED HIM back into my life. As I look back on the path we took to get to this point (the point of no return), I’m still in a state of shock. I still can’t believe this man deceived me. I thought we were friends, apparently he didn’t feel the same. To him, I was the girl he “kicked it with.” Read my story, you be the judge. This is my story…(the following story was posted on myspace in May 2008, due to some of the content, and my niece being on my friends list, I omitted certain things).

August 2007 - It started back in late July early August of 2007. My job sent me to NY for three months. I was set up in a FABULOUS apartment in the city (Battery Park). I sent him (and others) a message with my contact information letting him know I would be in NY for three months and we needed to catch up. He eventually made it to my apartment one night. We talked about HIS future, HIS two businesses, HIS failed marriage and how HE focused he was. I didn’t care too much for him at the time because I was going through my own issues. I now wish I could go back and erase that night. Because the last seven months has been an emotional roller coaster filled with lies and deception.

From the beginning we had our challenges. I felt like he was an arrogant asshole who only talked about himself and I was still raw from an old relationship. I remember the first time we talked on the phone, he was walking down the streets of Manhattan and I could hear the activity in the background. He promised he would call me later and he did. We agreed to meet. He stood me up the first time, claimed he fell a sleep. I excused his behavior and pressed on with my life. After all, I was LIVING it up in New York and really didn’t care.

Flash forward a couple of days, he finally made it to my apartment (LATER than planned) and we talked for hours (he talked more than I did) about our lives. The past, present, and future. We laughed about the relationship we had in high school, especially the day he kicked me out of the house when I didn’t give up the panties lol. I vividly remember him telling me how I had grown up to be a beautiful woman. He complimented me on my smile, body etc. I chuckled when he gave me the compliments, because I was wearing a cotton scarf on my head and my favorite cotton night gown that didn’t show anything!

We talked every other day about what we were both going through in terms of our failed relationships. I felt like a bond was created. He spent the night at my apartment a couple of times and never once did he try to sleep with me. Before he would leave every morning, he would kiss me (morning breath and all) and say “I’ll see you later babe.”

I remember getting a little tipsy one night and solicited him for sex via text message (lol). He responded with, “I want you to be sober when we do anything and we need to get to know each other better.” In my head (tipsy mind) I was like WTF? Oh yea? RIGHT, UH HUH.

September 2007 - Even with the discussion we had, there were arguments. He asked me to take him to the airport. He was going to Hawaii for a well deserved vacation. He didn’t call me all week, he eventually called me that Friday to “confirm” I was still taking him. My response, “when I didn’t hear from you, I thought you had made other plans.” I told him I felt like I was being used, he informed me that wasn’t the case and that he would hire a car to take him. I wished him a happy birthday the following Monday and vowed never to call him again.

He called me on his way back from Hawaii a week later. He wanted to know if he could come by the following day. I said, “I haven’t heard from you since you left to Hawaii and on the day before you get back you call me to hang out?” We argued about that and the fact I felt as though all he did was talk about himself, like he had something to prove to me. He assured me that wasn’t the case and then he said it “You do know I like you right.” I didn’t respond cause I really didn’t want to hear anything.

We pressed on, we had our good days and bad days. I do remember us having another argument while I was at work. I said that we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things so we needed to go our separate ways. Instead of agreeing with me, he asked “Can I ask you a serious question? Do you like me?” I said, “yes, what’s your point?” He told me that he felt I was always throwing darts at him and that’s the only explanation he could come up with as to why I acted like that towards him.

Then one day, I opened up to him. We were supposed to hang out together one night, however, I had to drop my sis-in-law and my babies (niece and nephews) off in Harlem. I picked him up at his “house” and I snapped at him a couple of times while he was in the car and yes in front of my sis-in-law. When I dropped my sister-in-law off, we started having a conversation about music and I remember him telling me “I’ve worked in radio for little bit, so I know a little something.” I was like, this asshole. It was too late to drop his ass off back home I was already on the West Side Highway. I continued to snap because I had a bad day. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he tried to tell me how to get to my apartment from where I parked. I stopped in the middle of the road and said to him “How are you going to tell me how to get to my apartment? I’ve been walking to work for the last month and half.” We began walking up the over path to cross the street and then he stopped and said “You haven’t given me a hug and kiss today.” I reluctantly gave him a hug and kiss. Before he let go of me that night he had my heart and I didn’t even know it.

Every time he spent the night, I would be snuggled up on his chest. I would wait until he was fast asleep before I made my way to the living room. HE SNORED really bad. In the middle of the night he would find his way into the living room and “hug me up,” lay with me for about 15 minutes and then make his way back into the room. I would follow right behind him. And that’s usually what happened every time he spent the night. I would have to get sleepy enough so I could fall a sleep with him.

October 2007 - We still continued to have our disagreements. The arguments were based on the fact I felt we did everything his way. His excuse were the hours he worked every week and he was still dealing with the emotional drama stemming from his painful divorce. The day before I left, we had an argument about us. He told me that I didn’t know what he’s been through, “I’ve been homeless, I’ve had to deal with things someone my age shouldn’t have to deal with, I don’t want to be a 32 year old man living with my mother.” MY response to him was the only thing I’ve ever asked you to do was listen to me. “All I’ve ever wanted you to do was listen to me, I’ve never asked you for anything else.” He said “You’re right.” The argument turned into a discussion. There was no more yelling, we both took the time to listen to each other. I thought we would be back on track after we had that conversation. I moved back to DC and things were cool. The first week I got back to DC, I decided instead of telling him things I didn’t like about him, I was going to focus on the things I did like about him. I called him everyday for a week and told him what I liked about him. Then one day I called him and told him I needed to tell home something. Of course as a man, his first response was “are you pregnant?” I laughed and said no, I wasn’t pregnant. I decided I had enough of holding back. “I don’t know where we are going, I’m not going to hold back how I feel about you. You’re a beautiful person and if things don’t work out between you and I, I would still like to have you in my life as a friend.” He agreed that we would just go with the flow and see where “this” we go. If we decided we wanted to swap saliva or sleep with other people, we would let the other person know.

From that day forward I jumped in without a parachute. I shared everything with this man. I didn’t hide behind any more walls. If I missed him, I left him know…If I thought about him, I let him know.

November 2007 - Then he started to act “funny” towards me. I finally asked him what was going on, he claimed he wanted to take a step back and focus on us being plain ole friends because there were a lot things we didn’t know about each other. I asked him why he couldn’t tell me that before I decided to “jump.” He claimed he thought he was ready, but then realized he wasn’t ready because of everything he’s been through. I was very upset and said I needed an adjustment period to deal with going back to being plain ole friends. I told him I would call him when I was ready to speak, he said “please don’t be like that, I’ll call you tomorrow.” I let him know I would contact him when I was ready.

A week later he sends me a text message “You do know I care about you right?” My response was, I never doubted that you did and said we need to go our separate ways. All this occurred two weeks before Thanksgiving. I decided that I wanted to see him one last time before we went out separate ways. I asked him if he had been with anyone else since we stopped speaking and he didn’t respond. When he finally responded he told me it was none of my business because he and I were no longer talking so he didn’t owe me anything. “One minute you don’t want me in your life, the next minute you want to see me one last time.” I was furious, because I felt as though he had to be sleeping with someone else and it wasn’t even a week since I told him we needed to go our separate ways! I told him I hated him, and that he wasn’t being honest with me, and how’s he’s hurt me. He responded with if I hurt him so much, why don’t you leave me a lone. He ended up calling me and yelling at me. He told me he didn’t want anything from me and any other woman out there and that I needed to leave him the fuck a lone.

He sent me a text message 20 minutes later and apologized. Claimed he was still dealing with a lot of the issues from his divorce and was taking out a lot of his frustrations out on me. He needed time to be by himself and deal with what ever issues he was dealing with. Even with the argument happening I still tried to connect with him while I was home for Thanksgiving. Before I got back to DC that weekend, he told me I was a beautiful person and didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was treating me. I’m not ready to be vulnerable to someone else, I need to handle this on my own. His last words to me were, “my food is getting cold, I gotta go.” I cried everyday for a week.

December 2007 - I sent an e-mail out on on December 12, 2007 (Belle of the Ball (Holiday Laughs), he was still on my distro list and he responded. “How are you?” I was totally shocked! This man told me a two and a half weeks a go, he needed to handle things on his own and here he s is asking me how I was doing? I told him I was doing fine. Flash forward to Christmas/New Years. I wanted to start the new year off right by unloading baggage. I wanted to let him know how his actions affected me. I called him on December 31, 2007 and we talked for about 30 seconds and then he said

“Shieka, I’m so sorry for everything I did to you, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened and how I’ve treated, can you please forgive me? I wanted to call you last week, but my pride didn’t allow me to call you. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you please let me know, I’m really sorry. You a good person, with a beautiful heart.” I told him I blamed myself for a lot of the things that went down, because I allowed him to treat me that way. He told me that I shouldn’t feel that way, I know what you’re going through and it has everything to do with me not you. Please forgive me.”

I was shocked, I was ready to lay into him about how he treated (I haven’t written everything in the blog, some things I just need to keep to myself) me. I told him there was nothing he could do to make it up to me, because the damage was already done. He asked me “What do you want from me then?” My response “Nothing.”

I sent him a text message before going to church on New Year’s Eve. “I hope one day you’ll be able to let go of the anger your have in your heart.” His response was “how do I do that? I said, “You have to fight for it.” He said i was right…

January 2008 - On January 2, 2008 I sent him the following text “IF YOU DON’T WANT IT, GIVE IT BACK TO ME” He didn’t understand what I was talking about so I explained further “If you don’t want my heart, give it back to me.” He asked where that came from and why. “It came from me and that’s how I feel” He asked me if I loved him…it took me 15 minutes to respond….and I said…I do and that’s when he told me he loved me also….

We had yet another conversation about “us.” “I can’t give you what you need right now, you want someone to stand up next to you and and be your man.” I’m still dealing with some issues and you deserve more. You’re a beautiful person with a beautiful heart and as much feelings I have for you, I just know I can’t be what you need right now.”

February 2008 - You think the story ended there right? We exchanged text messages every now and then then. Flash forward to February 10, 2008. We decided to meet up while I was in NY. I picked him up from work and just kind of hung out (if you know what I mean). He was snoring VERY loud and I didn’t have any Benadryl! It was going to be a long night. AS usual I went back and forth from the living room to the bedroom. I tried to roll him over in hopes I would be able to fall a sleep before he started snoring again. When I tried to roll him over, he mumbled you gotta go sleep some where else. I was like WTF? Fine as I started to get up, he wrapped his arm around my body and held me there. He finally woke up and asked if he was snoring again. “Uh yea!” He apologized and said he would go sleep in the living room. He was out in the living room five minutes and then made his way back to me in the bed room. He claimed it was cold in the living room….um, right. I was in the living room in t-shirt and panties! It was a damn sauna!

In the morning I took him back to work. He let me know that at times I could be really intense (and I agree) and that he had a lot things going on and didn’t know if he could deal with me right now. I asked him if he loved me enough to let me go and he said Yes, I do. I thought it was the end of us for good…On Valentine’s day I received a text message from him…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY BABY….My mouth dropped..I didn’t ask why he had sent me that message I just responded with same to you.

I was back in NY the weekend of February 17 to celebrate the 30th b-day. I let him know I had just turned 30. He asked when the next time I would be in town, I told him I was in NY. He asked if he could see me. I said sure. We saw each other on my birthday. I did want to have sex with him because the last time I saw him we had sex. I let him know I felt like all we did was have sex when we got together. He said he didn’t know the next time he would see me again and wanted to make sure I remembered him. “I don’t want our relationship to based on sex and we’ll going out and doing other things.” “I want to make love to you” is what he said and that night (on my 30th b-day) he told me “I love you, can you ever forgive me for being an asshole.” I thought to myself…WOW! Before he left my truck that night, he told me loved me again….

I thought finally, we were going to be drama free and really focus on trying to build a relationship. 4 weeks later, sh*t started to fall a part again.

You would think because I went back and forth with this man so much, I would be able to walk away from the situation. I chose not to walk away. He had my heart and as far as I was concerned I had his. “He was just needed someone that really cared about him.”

March 2008 - When he came back into my life I had questions as what our status was and why he had changed his mind about needing to deal with certain issues. He said we were friends trying to get to know each other to see where things would go. “We don’t know enough about each other to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Can you honestly say that we’re in a monogamous relationship?” My response to the question was I’m not seeing anyone else and he said he wasn’t either. However, that still didn’t make us boyfriend and girlfriend, which I agreed with. I just wanted to know where we stood and we were close friends trying to rediscover each other etc. The last discussion we had was about March 3 weeks ago and we talked about how everytime I talked to him, I felt as though he would try to walk about of my life, claiming he couldn’t deal with the stress. He told me he didn’t want me to feel like that “I want you to be able to talk to me about everything and anything.” We never finished that conversation. On March 15 he told me he was still angry about a lot of htings that happened in his life and he needed to deal with those issues by himself. “It has nothing to do with you, I hope you understand.” Two weeks later he sent a note to someone on myspace saying the complete opposite. At the time I had no idea he that he had sent that message. On March 16, 2008 I sent him the following e-mail.

“While at my apartment in the city one morning, we decided to take a shower. I decided to go first. As I was in the shower, you stood outside and I kind of felt like you didn’t know whether or not you should join me, so I invited you in the shower with me. After we got out the shower, I showed you an article in Essence Magazine about Jill Scott and her failed marriage. I realized your mood had changed after you read it. You lay on the bed face down and in an effort to comfort you, I laid on your back and held you for about five minutes. I got up and you asked me if I could lay back down, which I did. You then said, “I just wish I can get rid of this anger.” I said that it wouldn’t be an over night thing and in time the anger will leave you. I can tell you other stories that would be similar to the one above.

When I said, “I understood what you were going through from day one and saw your struggle without you saying a word,” It wasn’t just a line. While I don’t know what specific issues you’re dealing with, I can still feel and see your pain. I pay attention to your actions and your words, even the words that are left unspoken. Even though you tell me I haven’t seen how the “old” ### used to be, I know that you’re a very affectionate person. I saw that morning after you spent the first night with me (no sex was involved). I know you talk about what you’re doing and want you plan to accomplish to “remind” yourself. I know you like to avoid confrontation. I know you’re not the most organized person in the world (you always left stuff all over my apartment when you came over). I know you’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve. Even with the issues you’re dealing with, I still see the same #### I met in High School, the same #### I met six years later at the galleria in that corny shirt and tie, lol. You’re paralyzed with fear about getting hurt again, that same fear has turned into anger. YOUR PRIDE sometimes get in the way. You just want someone to understand and feel your pain. I UNDERSTAND YOUR ACTIONS EVEN THOUGH I MAY NOT AGREE WITH ALL OF THEM.

So what does all that mean? I understand and feel your pain without knowing what your specific issues are. I also understand your actions without you even speaking a word. This is third time you’ve let me know you needed to deal with some issues by yourself. While it’s been a reoccurring theme, the one thing I tend to disagree with is that it has nothing to do with me. I believe you shutting down has a little to do with me. It may be easier to deal with your issues without some crazy chick (me) screaming “listen to me,” creating additional “stress” in your life. While I can understand your need for me to smile everyday and just relax, I don’t think I would’ve been able to do that. One of the reasons you like me, is because I speak my mind. At the same time, It’s one of the qualities you don’t like about me. That’s because I may not know how to communicate effectively at times. While I can try to explain my intense words and actions or apologize for them, I’m not going to do that. That primarily has to do with the fact that no matter what anyone says, when emotions are involved rationality is thrown out the window. Given our similar experiences, I believe you should be able to understand where I’m coming.

While I may understand your decision to walk out of my life again, I don’t agree with it. I’m not trying to change your mind about your decision. I will point out the similarity with your previous relationship. Our relationship may have been lob-sided, I believe I’m the one that tried to make things work, maybe I tried too hard at times. The only complaint you can make about me, is that I’m passionate about how I feel. As I said, I’m not going to apologize for that.

I know I said I would be closing this chapter in my life. I also have to be honest with myself. I can’t do that. That’s because I’ve never been able to completely shut anyone out of life. I too wear my heart on my sleeve. If you need me, I’ll be here…don’t let your pride get in the way of reaching out to me.”

We still communicated viat text message, eventually the I got less and less responses.

April 2008 - On April 4, I sent him the following e-mail :

Can we just go back to when we were in NY? When we used to talk about life? I miss being able to talk to you a bout life…I miss the guy with the goofy laugh that used to find me in the living room and hug me up every time I would run away from his snoring…the same one that would kiss me with morning breathe before he would go back to work…I MISS my friend…I MISS YOU…I MISS US…

That e-mail went unanswered…

May 2008 - I discovered everything this man every told me was a lie. He not only was trying to kick it to everything that moved, I also discovered he was a registered sex offender in the state of Florida. He was arrested for burglary and rape. I still remember reading the myspace e-mails he sent to these unsuspecting women claiming to be something he wasn’t. The craziest thing is that I changed my status message on myspace to I’M SO INTO MR BROWN and he immediately added me to his top 24. I thought it was his way of coming around, I now realize it was an effort to show off the girl who was so into someone that didn’t give a damn about her. The only thing good that came out of May was me “meeting” one of the other girls he tried to “kick it with,” Rachel. She was the only one who saw through that man’s lie. She reached out to me. I can see why he was attracted to her, our personalities are SO similiar (Oh yea, we’re both drop dead gorgeous), and we have so much going for us. It’s sad, but most of the other women either ingnored me or just chalked it up to me being a crazy chick.

June 2008 - On June 3, 2008, he called to vent about what the “hounds” were doing to him and also our situation. In other words, he wanted to not only convince himself that the only thing we did was “kick it” but also try to convince me aso. He said, “I made two mistakes, having casual sex with you, and not being “BRUTALLY” honest with you.” hmmmm, I thought to myself, is this dude serious? He must not have realized I remember every single thing that went down between us and he was NOT going to make me out to be some crazy chick that flipped over some dick! He claimed before the storm, we hadn’t communicated in months (that’s a lie), he claimed he wasn’t with me on my B-day (that’s a lie), he claimed that even though he know I was in love with him it was OK for him to say I love you even though he didn’t feel the same. He claimed it was ok for him to change his mind after telling me for months he was still angry about his divorce then telling someone else he wasn’t bitter two weeks later. He even said Rachel was just some girl he wanted to “kick it with.” The same thing he said about me. He thought it was Hilarious that we both were talking. I chalk it out to him being embarrassed that he got caught out there. He claimed alot of things in that conversation…ALL was a lie to rationalize his behavior. If he had said to me in the beginning, all I want is a$$ or something a long those line I do believe I would’ve been able to walk away from the situation with no regrets. That wasn’t the case.

In the end, life happens. I’m not ashamed that I got bamboozled by a boy trying to be a man. For Yashieka, getting it out paper is what I needed. Who knows, the person reading my blog could be going through the same thing and didn’t even realize it until they read my blog. I’ve had to get tested for every STD in the book! I can’t trust anything that came out of his mouth.

Why would I doubt anything this man told me? I knew him since I was 16 years old. We had history, grew up in the same town, hung out with the same people. It just goes to show you never know. Some people consider me to be an intelligent and successful woman. All that I’ve learned couldn’t prepare me to deal with this man. If it can happen to me….you better believe it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

####, I forgive you for lying to me since day one. I forgive you for making me feel like everything that happened between us was something I made up in my head. I forgive you for telling me you were dealing with issues of your divorce, while telling someone else you were ready to move on with your life. I forgive you for taking the most precious thing I had to offer you, my heart, and shattering it into a million pieces. I forgive you for allowing me to treat you as a priority while you made me an option. I forgive you for downplaying our relationship and making me feel like I was nothing more than a piece of a$$. I forgive you for every time you said you cared about me, yet never took the time to listen to anything I had to say. Most importantly, I forgive you for making me out to be a crazy girl when you were the one.


Mr. Brown…PLEASE TAKE A BOW…

15 Comments so far...

Yesha Says:

24 June 2008 at 11:18 am.

Girl,

First, let me say, “WOW”!

After reading that, I thank god for “GOOGLE”!

Being that the two of you had history from high school, I can understand the connection and the willingness to give it a try. I’m not sure why people still refuse to believe the saying “What’s in the dark, will come to light”. I always say, everyone needs “options”. Let me choose whether to deal with the truth, but when you’re lying to someone, you’re not giving them that choice.

You gave him chance after chance, one too many if you ask me. But everything is a learning experience, I just feel sorry for the next woman who comes along, b/c chances are, is that he’s still going to be the same person with no change in sight.

[Reply]

Yashieka Says:

24 June 2008 at 12:24 pm.

Devone - Thank you for apologizing, because I’ve yet to get an apology from him. I don’t expect one though. YES, it was a LLLLOOONNNGGG story….I still felt it needed to be told. If I left it up to him, he would have me, you, and all his friends think I was just some girl he FUCKED when he was bored. I’m good now. I’m learning to forgive myself for ALLOWING him to treat me that way…

Yesha - You are so right, thank GOD for “GOOGLE.” LOL…You never know someone until you GOOGLE them lol. I’ve definitely learned from this experience. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Oprah Winfrey

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Keshia Says:

25 June 2008 at 5:05 pm.

I came to your page by the way a friend.

First and foremost I would like to say girl we all have been there. I commend you for putting down your feelings on “paper” That is what I do.

I also want to say this hind sight is 20/20 you go over n your head and say I should have, could have , or shouldnt have. others may read this and say oh she is bitter. I on the other hand think that you are just working through your feelings and hope you don’t ket this destroy relationships in the future. Don’t let this be baggage but a learning experience, see he showed you who he was in the beginning. You can’t change anyone or make them over they are who they are. From the first time he showed you disrespect till the last time he was showing you who he was so with this in mind believe them when the SHOW you who they are. HUGS and Blessings to you

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Yashieka Says:

25 June 2008 at 11:08 pm.

AAWWW, thanks so much for the HUGS & the Blessings. Right now, I have to forgive myself for allowing someone to treat me less than I deserved. I am trying to work through my feelings, because I really don’t know who I loved. The man I thought I loved, doesn’t really exist.

Most women either hold all that anger inside or take it with them into the next relationship. Speaking and writing is my outlet. I’m not embarrassed about what happened, I chalk it up to me being human and having a BIG heart. One day a man will realize my worth and cherish me flaws and all. I refuse to allow what he did to me affect my other relationships. If I allow that to happen, I will only continue to give him power over me and I WILL not let that happen.

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nunya Says:

1 July 2008 at 9:41 am.

wow… what a drag man!

make no mistake… 9 out of 10 people are lying shit heads!

and i mean… i totally made that statistic up… but i bet its pretty accurate!!

i think we have all been used at some point in our lives… and mosta the time… its really heart breaking! but… on the flip side… if you walk away… you DEFINATELY walk away stronger!

[Reply]

Yashieka Reply:
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:51 pm

I did walk away stronger…I definitely didn’t lose anything from walking away from him.

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Suzie Says:

2 July 2008 at 10:49 am.

Yashieka,

I feel so sad after reading that. I can relate because I just found out that the last guy I went out with was cheating on me. What hurts the most is that we were friends long before we were lovers and I guess I sorta hoped that counted for something … turns out I was wrong. Oh well, atleast I learned from it.

Did you finally find out why he was being so weird? Is it that he had someone else on the side or was he just being mean?

[Reply]

Yashieka Reply:
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:52 pm

I’m so sorry for your pain Suzie. I totally understand the disappointment associated with the betrayal of someone you thought was your friend. I definitely found out why he was acting weird! He was trying to talk to everything that moved…while telling me he needed time for himself. “It’s not you, it’s me, I hope you understand.”

The crazy thing is I asked him if he still wanted me in his life and he never responded. I was his OPTION. My gripe is, if he didn’t want me in his life, he should have been honest with how he REALLY felt. I was always honest with him, I trusted him with my life (literally) and he couldn’t trust me enough to tell the truth.

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Suzie Says:

3 July 2008 at 2:03 am.

Yashieka,

You’re right. It would have been more honorable for him to just let you know where he stood! Atleast then you wouldn’t have gone on thinking that you had something special when you were just another girl for him! It all boils down to a simple thing called respect. The least he could have done is respect your history together.

I dont think it has much to do with him trusting you as with selfishness. If he was really hurting, he would have gone to the trouble of letting you know so that you could comfort him. I’m sure the history you had together wasn’t wasted on him either. Personally, I think he’s just using the same old excuse of being hurt to go around hurting people who dont deserve it like you. The scary thing is, he might be over the whole divorce already!

What d’you think?

[Reply]

Yashieka Reply:
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:12 am

Yes, his lack of RESPECT and selfishness is VERY apparent. Oh, he let me know he was hurting alright! That’s the excuse he used to walk in and out of my life. “I’m dealing with so much right now,” “I’m still angry about a lot things from the past.” The problem is, he wasn’t telling that to everyone else. It appears he was only telling that to me. I think he’s something like a chameleon, he’s whom ever you want him to be. I’m not sure if he’s really over the divorce. He’s the only one that can answer that question. He told me one thing and told others something else…I dunno.

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Suzie Says:

3 July 2008 at 8:21 am.

I guess you’re right about him being like a chameleon. I hope he’ll change at some point and grow up. No need to go around burning bridges, because thats exactly what he did with you. He might end up needing you at some point in the future and he’s just made it really hard to come asking for help.

How long has it been since the divorce anyway? He cant go around “hurting” forever”. And certainly not if he’s planning to break other hearts just to get even.

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Yashieka Reply:
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:31 am

Well according to him, he was too angry to talk about the divorce and what happened during the marriage. I got bits and pieces and HE CLAIMED he was still angry about it and wasn’t ready to talk about it. So it other words, I have NO IDEA how long ago he got a divorce. If his intention is to go around breaking hearts to get even, I feel sorry for him…because in the end, he’s going to be the only person hurting.

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introspectivegoddess Says:

14 September 2008 at 7:16 pm.

There are some similarities between this and my story. The back and forth, the lies, me feeling like I was putting in the work, no concrete definition of our relationship…..mine was long distance but I too dealt with the myspace revelation and realizing that he lied to me from the very beginning. And trust me your story isnt long.. my story took a week to tell on my blog in detail and I barely left anything out! …..The only thing that comforts me in yours and my stories is that Karma is most definetly a Bitch…but even still I wont know when it hits him so all I can do is hope that I will get over this soon so that I can move on with my life…..Good Luck to you….

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Yashieka Reply:
September 14th, 2008 at 11:57 pm

I think it’s best not to even focus on when or even how Karma will affect someone else…in due time all things will come to fruition. I managed to get an apology, if you really want to call it that….I realized the healing process starts with me…

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