24 July 2008
Finally Found Love & My A$$ Still Ain’t Sure
Posted by
Shieka
under:
Open Discussions .
All my life I’ve dated known and unbeknown st to me players, drug dealers, ballers, and cute thugged out guys. As a young girl growing up I wanted the fast life, money, and material things. All the while naively believing that one of these guys would be my knight in shining armor, my prince charming. Needless to say I have two children and none of these men were my prince charming, more like my nightmare!
However 7 years ago I met this guy and we started out as friends. I always secretly knew he liked me, but I was so busy dating my daughter’s father. WAFJ. Anyway, we always talked about any and everything. He was always very respectful, never tried anything, and oh so kind. He would do every and anything for me. BUT he just wasn’t my type. He’s good looking not drop dead gorgeous and he is over weight (like I’m not). So we continued as friends for years. Only Friends.
Two years after having my daughter and her father existing my life, he came up with some lame excuse to get my number. I knew it was a lame excuse but I gave him my number. We started corresponding and we’ve been in love ever since (I think).
Now here’s the crazy part. This man has been there for me and my children through thick and thin. He has been there financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. But yet I still doubt and question if he’s the one. What the hell is my problem???? He is GREAT! SERIOUSLY. We’ve been dating now for almost three years. I have had no drama with him being missing for hours, mysterious phone calls, turned off cell phones when he comes over nothing. He is at my beck and call. In fact in the almost 3 years that we have been together we’ve had 2 arguments. He wants to marry to me but I’m scared. I always wonder what will other people think when they see us together. He is so different from the other guys I’ve dated. Why do I do this to myself. This man has brought the world and placed it before my feet, not only mine but my children and yet I’m still unsure… Ladies help me! I think I’m pretty intelligent and yet I can’t pull my personal life together. Furthermore my brain tells me go for it, even my heart says go for it (sometimes) but that vain part of me that I am so starting to hate is making me doubt myself. How do I get rid of this vain alter ego that is slowly but surely ruining my love life and financial future! HELP ME!
3 Comments so far...
Keyshia
Says:
24 July 2008 at 10:47 am.
Remember that article you posted titled “mouldy men”? According to some responses it received, there are many indications that most (not all) men who are not ranked as a 10 in the looks department tend to pay more attention to other areas of their personalities to cover up for that. Dont get me wrong, Its not a bad thing. My point is, these kind of men turn out to be some of the best gentlemen and hubby material. Simply because they know that there is more to a relationship than being into themselves. And like I commented on the article titled “its raining men”, its very hard to find a cute man who is also getlemanly and not conceited. I always say THERE IS NOTHING AS BAD AS A MAN WHO IS GOODLOOKING AND KNOWS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem! Back to my point … your guy is great because he can see past himself and is mature enough to know that both you and him are imperfect and the best thing to do is focus on the good things about each other. Which is why he doesnt bring you any drama and doesnt give up on you either. Plus, he is very reliable and its obvious your future with him looks bright. I say go for him.
[Reply]
Ari
Says:
24 July 2008 at 2:08 pm.
Girl, I was where u are….long story short ur mind/spirit are still caught up in the drama. Or perhaps part of you is soo used to boys (they really aren’t men are they?) acting a dam fool that you are expecting the “shoe to drop” and this man will fail and you’ll be justified in not claiming him. Well truth be told girl, you trust him enough to be around your precious children and he hasn’t failed them or you. Don’t let the mistakes and trifling actions of some boys ruin what could be your answered prayer. It will take work, as every good relationship will but its worth it. If you still have doubts go to pre-marriage counseling. BELIEVE me that will show you if there are any red flags between u 2. GOOD LUCK!! p.s, I went thru counseling, prayer & finally let the baggage go …
[Reply]
BlackWomenBlowTheTrumpet.blogspot.com
Says:
26 July 2008 at 10:24 pm.
Hey there!
There is a post at my blog that I’d like you to read and it’s titled “Disempowering The Cult of Pain” and another titled, “The Free Agency of The Black Woman”.
You will know whether this man is the one after reading those two posts.
Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa
[Reply]
