4 July 2008

Man of the Week…He put a move on her heart…

Posted by Shieka under: Man of the Week; Open Discussions .

Names, dates, and locations have been changed per request of the author.

So here’s a little story that you all might enjoy….its our story, and now it’s yours to read. I have always lived in this small town. I rarely ever leave. The same doctor delivered me and my son…and he’s still my doc.

There are not a whole lot of people in my town and after 20 some odd years there are very few people in the town who I don’t know, or know a family member of. I had my son when I was very young, and by that I mean I was 16, which is very young in my book. I had always been independent as far as having a man went. My sons father never really bothered…so I figured we were in it together …my son and I…and that’s what I lived for every day. It was hard, but I finished high school and I went out and got a job. I have always had a job since then, up until now that is.

I lived at home with my pops, but I think I took care of him as much as he took care of me, if not more. He was usually there when I needed him and always there when I didn’t. He set a good example…you know…he was honest and loving and all that mushy crap… my dad is actually kind of a puddle. On Sunday mornings he would play John Denver records and cry….he still hugs the hell out of me and gets weepy every time he sees me. Which kind of bugs me…but whatever.

So fast forward to 1999 … by this time I had a kid who was almost 5…and I was 21. I never really bothered to have a boyfriend, I mean…I had “men friends” who visited me occasionally to fulfill certain needs…but …I never wanted to get too involved with anyone… partly because of my son… I would hate to have seen him get his heart broken or be made to feel unwanted… you know?

I had been doing this “independent” thing for a long time and I was happy. I went where I wanted to go, when I wanted to go there with whoever I felt like going with and life was good.

I have never been much of a drinker…but my friends and I would often go to the local watering hole…for me it was just to hang out and play pool, as for my friends… they always got shit faced and I had to drive everyone home.

So I was supposed to meet my friend at the bar this particular night and I went out alone to meet her. The music in the bar was kind of loud as it usually is in places of this sort, people were dancing and it was kind of smokey. I had to walk through the entire bar trying to find my friend…who as it turned out wasn’t there at all. However…as I was walking through, this guy caught my eye….well…actually his body did…I won’t lie. He had these sexy arms and he was wearing a white sleeveless shirt. He was of the African American persuasion. All I could think when I walked past him was HOT DAMN!!! I held my breath as I walked past him… you could almost say he took my breath away!

Then someone grabbed my arm…. my heart nearly stopped.

Now I am a very short person…as in I am like 4 foot 11…and this guy was massive…I was guessing about 6 foot 3 … I was very VERY nervous. He leaned down and said, “I think you are beautiful …will you dance with me?” in this fine Caribbean accent.

I was at a loss for words…and I was standing there all alone…what was I supposed to do??? So I said politely, “No…thanks anyways …I’m not really much of a dancer.” … He looked so disappointed, but he said, “Ok.”…and let go of my arm. I never did find my friend that night, instead I just went home.

THIS MAN occupied my every thought for an entire week. Living in an area with a very small population of non-whites I had never dated a brown skinned guy before… Matter of fact my best friend in high school was always trying to set me up with her African American buddies and I always told her, “Unless he’s LLcool J…I’m really not interested!”… Not because I disliked men of colour or because I was discriminating against anyone… I just wasn’t particularly attracted to them for whatever reason AND because lets face it… LL has an exceptional wow factor!

I never thought I would see the guy from the bar again anyways…even though he totally made me melt. However, the next week…he was at the bar…waiting for me….hoping to see ME again! We spent the night talking and last call rolled around and I was a fool for love because this guy did all the right things…so I offered him a ride home. My friend Teresa was with me… so I told her that I would drop her off at her car. Then I was free to bring my new friend home.

LET ME TELL YOU…she was having none of that, “Nunya…you are so not going anywhere with that guy alone…I’m staying with you!” she said adamantly with her hands on her hips! I laughed and told her to, “get the hell out of my car!” because I had some business to take care of!

We drove around for about an hour, he and I. I was waiting for him to make some kind of move you know…put his hand on my lap…brush my hair off of my neck softly…something, anything!

I GOT NOTHIN!

I dropped him off and he reached over, held my hand and kissed me on the cheek and told me it was, “nice spending time with me,” and that he, “hoped to see me again sometime soon.”

And I was like…What the hell??? That brother could have had me at hello! He was a total gentleman….in every sense and I was going home hungry so to speak. By the third weekend…it was ON! I was gonna get this guy if it killed me!! We met at the bar and left together again…this time… not for home!

I learned that he was here on an international contract to work for eight months. He was eleven years older than me. And I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t think he was the best thing since sliced bread.

I drove out to a secluded beach and suggested we take a walk. The moon was so full and the water was like a sheet of glass. It was such a beautiful night. I will never forget it as long as I live. So, we walked and talked and as we were coming back to the place where I had parked the car…I said I was thirsty and a little cold. He immediately took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

He then asked if he could kiss me.

YES!! My mind was screaming YES…OH GOD YES!

But I said, “You know you really shouldn’t have asked, because if I say no…you feel rejected and if I say yes, well… then I’m easy! Right?”

So he sits down on a big, old, fallen tree and I sit next to him and he puts his hand under my chin and gently lifts my face up so our eyes meet… and he kisses me! And what a kiss it was!

No one had ever kissed me and made me feel that way ever EVER before. I asked him if he had to work in the morning….he said no!

“I’m keeping you till the sun comes up!” I thought. And I sure did! It was the most amazing sex I have ever had…I mean… really mind blowing you know? I won’t go into intricate detail…but…we tore that place up and we were there on the beach, under the moon and stars all night long! I brought him back to the place he was staying at around 5:45 in the morning, and then I went home in snuck in the back door.

We only had 2 months to be together before he was going back home to the islands and I loved him already… but I didn’t know it yet. He knew he loved me from the first time he saw me…so he says. I think I did too… but love was a new concept for me and love at first sight sounds so … unrealistic and unbelievable!

October rolled around and he had to go back. He promised me that he would come back for me …even though I told him I would never ever marry him. You might be wondering why I would say something like that to someone I was SO into. I told him this because I had a poor take on the ideal of marriage. Both of my parents had been divorced more than once and I saw it as “just a piece of paper” because that’s all it was to me. I even went as far as suggesting he find a woman to marry him… get his papers and then leave her in order for us to live together without having to get married!

He said he didn’t care…he would keep coming back forever for me… and all I had to do was just wait for him… and in turn he would wait for me. He figured he would ware me down I guess. He was gone for about 4 months and we talked occasionally, I wrote him letters every week…I was so hot for him…you have no idea! I got butterflies in my stomach every time I thought about him… literally!

He called me the very same night he came back and we were at the end of the local peer doing the dirty dirty in the front seat of my car within five minutes of seeing each other…I was waiting for him for 4 months and I couldn’t wait any more. It wasn’t even dark out and cars were going by…now that I think about it…we were crazy…but at the time…it was out of my control, there were stronger forces at work there!

Now here is where some of you will look down on me. I had a man who loved me to death, and I hid him from my family, and from my friends. I’m not prejudice in any way at all…honestly, but I was afraid of what my family would do and say… partly because he was a man of colour and partly because he was foreign. You hear the snickers in the back round, the “he’s only with her so he can get papers from immigration” comments people make…and I was afraid that maybe… just maybe they were right.

No one had ever loved me before…I was basically just a good time girl to most of the guys I had been with…I was never loved…I never knew love. What business did I have thinking this guy was any different than the rest of the losers I had dealt with in my life? To this day I am ashamed of my actions…for often it is not what you say…it’s what you don’t say that speaks volumes. And there was so much I did not say…so much I should have done, but didn’t do. And so many things I did do…that I shouldn’t have.

We spent every spare moment together for the next eight months. He was working on a farm and the woman who owned it treated all the men she had in her employ from the islands like her personal slaves…and no… I am not exaggerating at all. She told them what to do; when they could do it…paid them next to nothing and gave them no respect… for no other reason than that they had brown skin.

These guys worked in her greenhouses under plastic in 100 degree heat and she would run over to their bunk house and shut off their air conditioners on them… to save herself money I assume. When they came in at lunch… it was just as hot as it was outside…she gave them no chance for relief…and she didn’t care… she will rot in hell someday for the terrible way she has treated people….I know she will!

We were together so often that the inevitable happened… I got pregnant! I was already a single mother living at home with my father… I had just started at a fantastic new job… and then this! I didn’t know how to tell him OR my father… I didn’t know what either of them would say… or how they would react. So I did the unspeakable… I went to the hospital all on my own… I didn’t even tell him. I got scared and made a snap decision that I have had to live with every day of my life since then.

I started to pull away from him…I told him I felt that we were moving too fast. I said all kinds of stupid shit that made no sense at all because I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth… I just couldn’t find the words! Strangely though, somehow… he knew what was going on and what I had done without me even telling him. He forgave me without a second thought , I didn’t even have to ask him to forgive me! He understood me… even though I offered no explanation. He made me better… and I quit fighting what I felt.

On his last day here before going back home the second time I went to the farm to pick him up and take him to the place where the bus was going to pick him up and take him to the airport. I was sad because I knew it would be another long 4 months before I would see him again. I sat in my car in the driveway and waited for him. The old lady who owned the place came out when she saw me there waiting for someone and she decided to walk over to me and question me.

Who are you waiting for??

Why are you waiting for him??

Is he your boyfriend???

Then she proceeded to tell me that I should go and find myself a nice white boyfriend because this man had nothing to offer me, she said he was poor and I didn’t know where he had been. I could not believe the nerve that this woman had. How dare she talk to me in such a way about someone I cared so much about? So I told her to piss off… I told her that I didn’t need her approval, or anyone else’s for that matter. I also bluntly advised her to back up away from my car then I shut my window. But she watched the man come to my car, and she shook her head, she watched us leave, she did not bring him back the next year…because of me.

He was away from me for 18 months and I had given up hope of ever seeing him again. I had quit calling him, and I had also quit writing. I guess it was safe to say that I thought for all intents and purposes I had moved on. One afternoon I woke up, after sleeping all day because I was on the midnight shift, to find the little red light on my cell phone blinking. I had a message! No biggie right?

WRONG!

When the message played I heard a voice that I thought I would never hear again…it said, “Nunya, its me…I’m back in your country…but don’t call me at this number…I will call you again as soon as I can!” My heart skipped a beat. Thousands of thoughts flooded my mind simultaneously. And I could do nothing but wait. It was the longest wait I have ever had to endure. I could hardly believe he had taken my insane suggestion to find a woman to temporarily marry let alone believe he was actually going to go through with it!

I can still remember when the phone rang again. I was driving to work and I answered it and he said hello. I was so happy I was speechless…he had to say hello again. I said “hey…did you miss me?” And he said yes. I asked if he wanted to see me…and he said yes…so I asked, “How do you want to see me?” … he kind of got quiet and said, “I don’t understand what you are asking me.” So I smiled and said, “Do you want to see me naked?” And he laughed…I could hear him smiling over the phone. And he said, “Of course I do! But,”……..there was a big huge but…. “I’m with a woman; she is the one who sent the ticket for me. But I don’t love her Nunya…I love you…I came back for YOU!

Strangely, I was ok with that because I knew I was going to get all that sweet love again soon. He told me they were going to Cuba for a week and he would be back.. I had been saving money for the entire 18 months that he was gone so I immediately started looking for a house to buy, so we would have a place to be together whenever we wanted.

He was back from Cuba in time for my birthday and we were together all the time again. But I still kept him a secret. It’s shameful really but it’s the truth! I found a house and was moved in by July and by this time I had technically been “the other woman” for three months! I couldn’t understand how this other girl could be so stupid. I mean … we were together every day….3 or 4 times a day…he was only with her to sleep at night. Honestly… if it was me…I would have caught on long before that point. Eventually, he stayed the night with me at my house and she was furious! I can’t say I blame her…if I had been on the other end of this situation, well…lets just say I am glad I wasn’t. So we sat down together and I told him I just couldn’t stand by anymore and go about things that way.

He said, “Nunya, you said you would never marry me?” and all I could reply with was, “sometimes people change their minds.” He reached across the kitchen table and held both of my small white hands inside of his large brown hands and asked me, “Are you ready to be a wife?” At that moment… when I looked at our hands… I knew! There was no longer any doubt…I said, “Yes.” Things went quickly after that for us because we were working with a very small allowance of time. The woman who he was with stole his passport and his status had gone out…which means he had become an illegal alien with no passport. We had to get him a new passport from his consulate and report his old passport as “lost or stolen.” Now remember… this woman was scorned, and she was mad as hell because I was sleeping with and had stolen what she thought was “her man.” I knew she had every right to be feeling that way. Lord knows if it was me…heads would have rolled!

So we were married within a week! Dress, suit, justice of the peace and everything …done! I know my husband still feels like he cheated my family because the only ones there were my dad, mom and one cousin. My older brother wasn’t invited because he had a negative opinion of the whole situation and some pretty negative comments were made to me along the lines of “you’re a whore” only it was peppered with racial slurs. So I figured…SCREW THEM ALL! I wanted to be happy and I just didn’t give a shit what they wanted, or what anyone thought about us. My father suggested that I was getting married because of all the drugs I was on??

But my mother….my wonderful mother said, “Nunya, take happiness wherever you can find it, and hold onto it with both hands as long as you can! Never let that go! If you are only happy for a week, then at least you had happiness in your life for that long! Everyone deserves to be happy, and so do you!” My mom loves me. And so does my husband. And I love them all, even those who had ill will towards me, because their negativity only made me stronger and gave me someone to prove wrong!

(I have never shared so much of “our story” before… I have made many mistakes in my life and have done a whole slew of things I am not proud of. I believe everything happens for a reason. I have grown so much as a person because of my husband! I am so thankful to God that he was able to forgive me… its hard to believe that someone could love me so unconditionally…. and no… my name really isn’t Nunya… but it IS Nunya’s business! I’m sure some of you already know who I am anyways.)

He put a move on her heart! I titled this story “Man of the Week…He put a move on my heart” because when I first read the story all I heard was Tamia’s “You put a move on my heart.”

6 Comments so far...

Suzie Says:

4 July 2008 at 9:41 am.

Aaaaw! That is so sweet. And you’re right, it is your business and No one should interfere. You should do what makes you happy.

P.S My name isn’t really Suzie either ‘wink” lol

[Reply]

nunya Says:

4 July 2008 at 12:04 pm.

he put spme moves on my EVERYTHING!
thanks 4 sharing my story ladies!

[Reply]

Yashieka Reply:
July 4th, 2008 at 2:44 pm

No, thank you for sharing YOURstory! I’m still hopeful…

[Reply]

whiteMenRule Says:

6 July 2008 at 10:55 am.

Why dont you both write about Mike the masseuse and the other guys online you both met and shared. I think that would make for good blog fodder.

[Reply]

Yesha Reply:
July 6th, 2008 at 2:14 pm

Dear “SCAR” aka “JACK THE PUMPKIN KING” aka “NOT SO KEEN SOL”:

REALLY, DUDE, IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS TO GO FROM ONE BLOG TO ANOTHER SPREADING YOUR BITCHASSNESS AS USUAL? I SWEAR YOU HAVE MORE ESTROGEN THEN THE AVERAGE BITCH WALKING DOWN THE STREET. YOU AND YOUR PISS POUR 5% MENTALILTY IS MORE LIKE THE 1% MILK I USE ON MY CEREAL IN THE MORNING, I.E, WATERED DOWN!

BOO FUCKING HOO, YOU JUST MAD B/C WE DIDN’T SHARE YOU…AND WHAT RELEVANCE IS THE FACT THAT YES, YASHIEKA AND I DID DATE THE SAME GUY ABOUT 7 YRS AGO? HMMM…I TEND TO THINK THAT IT HAS ALOT TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT WE BOTH HAVE GREAT TASTE….AND IRONICALLY, HOW IS IT THAT WE KNEW NOT TO DEAL WITH YOUR NO CELL PHONE HAVING, NO BANK ACCOUNT, BASEMENT DWELLER, CAN’T AFFORD A $10 MOVIE TICKET, SMELLING LIKE WEED AND NAG CHAMPA ASS???? I MEAN SERIOUSLY?? WHO STILL SMOKES WEED, I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING PEOPLE USUALLY GIVE UP BY THE TIME THEY GRADUATE COLLEGE? DON’T YOU EVER WONDER WHY YOUR FINGERS AND LIPS ARE SO BURNT LOOKING? ONCE AGAIN, IT PROVES YET AGAIN, WE HAVE GREAT TASTE.

YOU DON’T EVEN QUALIFY FOR BEING A ‘MOLDY’ MAN…YOUR ASS IS ALREADY LIKE SOME BOTTLED UP PENICILIN. IN TOO LARGE OF A DOSE, YOU’RE TOXIC! BUT I’M SURE SOME DUMB BROAD IN RALEIGH-DURHAM/CHAROLOTTE ARE WILL TAKE PITY ON YOU ONCE AGAIN.

SO NEXT TIME MR. 72.192.63.42 TRY A LITTLE HARDER TO BE ANONYMOUS. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING US WITH A BIG ASS LOL TODAY

REGARDS,

YESHA & YASHIEKA

[Reply]

Leave a Reply

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail

Click to cancel reply