29 July 2008

Love Shouldn’t Hurt~ Tricia’s Story

Posted by Esha under: HERstory .

As told to Yesha, by Tricia:

“My mother always told me that no man should ever lay his hands on a woman. My father always told me that any man who hit a woman was one of the biggest cowards to walk the face of the earth. So you’d think I would expect more out of a relationship?

Wrong.

My story is the typical love gone wrong. Sure he seemed like the perfect man. I didn’t want for anything and never had to ask for anything. I loved his family and his family took me in as one of their own. After our 2nd year of dating, we moved in with each other and talks of marriage was always a subject of conversation.

Literally, that night I didn’t know what hit me. Out of the blew, square to the right side of my face, his fist landed. It was a normal night at home. I cooked dinner and we sat down as usual and ate together. For some reason I could see tension in his face and his usual tone was now monotone. I got up and gathered up the plates and started washing the dishes. As I was washing the dishes, I asked him what was wrong, once again.

“Nothing!”, he snapped back at me.

As I had my back turned to him, he approached me from behind and handed me my cell phone. He pulled up the address book and questioned why did I have my ex-boyfriend’s phone number in it. I explained to him that occasionally we still talk, because we still have a lot of friends in common.

That’s when he hit me.

All I remember was a dish dropping on the floor. He told me I had no reason in talking to him. In between tears I reassured him there was nothing going on. I couldn’t believe what happened. I was in shock. All over my phonebook.

He left the kitchen and went to bedroom and shut the door.

I was now a victim. My life flashed before my eyes. I could either stay or leave. It doesn’t take much for me to fear for my life and I picked leaving. The next day after he left for work, I packed my belongings and left.

He has not heard from me since.”

~Tricia

9 Comments so far...

Ms. Freckles Says:

29 July 2008 at 8:49 am.

Maybe it’s my inner-Detroit roots kicking in on this one… but she should have gotten a iron skillet and laid it across his head as hard as she possibly could! If he’s brave enough to raise his hand to a woman, it’s the woman’s job to put him down (just like you would do a dog that bites a child).

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Ms. Freckles Says:

29 July 2008 at 8:50 am.

*Claps* I’m proud that Tricia had the courage to leave.

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Tricia Says:

29 July 2008 at 9:14 am.

I want to thank Yesha for allowing me to share my story…by coincidence we came across each other. I just hope other women have the courage to realize they don’t have to deal with the bullshit!

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Keyshia Says:

29 July 2008 at 10:14 am.

Sorry about what you went through. But Tricia, that was probably one of the best decisions you ever made in life. Leaving him has saved you so much more physical and emotional pain. You can never really tell how fast the violence progresses. Today its a slap, tommorow he’ll punch you, and before you know it, he’ll shoot you in the face!

Congrats! And yes, you’re right, no one has to deal with that kind of bullshit.

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Ms. Freckles Says:

29 July 2008 at 1:30 pm.

I have a question for Tricia:
What happens when he comes to you with “sincere” apologies? Do you think you will be open to give him another chance? I ask because I know a couple women who left (which I thought was great) but one of them chose to go back. Granted, her husband hasn’t hit her again since (roughly 5 years has passed since the initial incident)… what do you think?

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Tricia Reply:
July 29th, 2008 at 2:26 pm

It’s been about 6 months since that episode happened. For the first few weeks he called almost 24/7. I refused to have any type of communication with him from that day on. Unfortunately I realize not everyone will choose to leave or returns to the person who hit them. But I refuse to play russian roulette with my life.

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Ms. Freckles Reply:
July 30th, 2008 at 7:55 am

It’s so refreshing to hear how you stood your ground and kept your decision.
You have set a wonderful example for other women who have or may experience the same thing in their relationship/marriage.

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Shelia Says:

29 July 2008 at 4:41 pm.

If you would have stayed it would have gotten worse. The strongest thing you did was leave.

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