22 July 2008
Mr. Lova, Lova…
Posted by
Shieka
under:
HERstory .
Names, dates, and locations have been changed per request of the author.
We met back in September 2004 when I joined a college for some short classes. Over time, we got really close but there was no way it was going to work out because he
had a girlfriend. We never even explored what we had because neither of us could imagine having a secret relationship. We never even talked about it. We would just hang out in the company of all our friends and basically just have a good time.
Then he broke up with his girlfriend some time towards the end of 2005. If I remember right, it was around August. He managed to keep it from me for a week or so but I eventually found out because his bestfriend was also one of my friends. I was heartbroken for him because he really did love his girlfriend and was sad and broken down when it happened.
However, I didn’t want to be his rebound girl so I made sure that no boundaries were overstepped during that time. We maintained our friendship and went on with life as usual. Then in April 2006, he decided to have a party at his house and called me up to invite me. When I arrived on the appointed day, I was surprised to discover that we were alone. He then went on to explain that the party was just for the two of us and he wanted us to just hang out and get to know each other all over again. I had no objections because I obviously had feelings for him. As you would expect, we got to a point where we’d worn off all subjects and moved on to “other matters”.
After that night, we sorta started going out. The reason why I used the word “sorta” is because he would act all strange and distant and then all of sudden go back to being sweet and lovey dovey at any time. Im not one to go crying and complaining to a man when he does that kind of thing, so I gave him space whenever he had his little “episodes”.
To cut a long story short, he was “busy” with someone else during this entire time. He just didnt want to loose out on either of us. I moved away when I changed jobs and that was when he really kicked up his game. He would travel to come see me where I lived and call me up just to see how I was doing. I thought that he might have changed and realized what potential we had. WRONG!
I went back home for a visit in 2007 and met one of my old girlfriends. Ofcourse, we arranged to have lunch and catch up. When we finally got around to meeting, she excitedly asked me to guess who she was going out with. And guess what! It was none other than Mr. Lover. I could barely hide my shock and disappointment but decided to use the moment to find out more. I asked her how long they had been together and she gave me the exact same amount of time that I had been going out with him. She was so obviously head over heels for him and I couldnt bring myself to tell her anything.
After I got home that evening, I tried calling him but he had already gotten wind that we met and didnt want to pick any of my calls. I sent him a text message and reassured him that I wouldnt be insensitive enough to break someone else’s heart just to be spiteful to him. I also obviously told him that it would be best if we just stayed out of each other’s lives.
My friend never found out about us (or maybe she did but is really good at hiding it) but she noticed that he was acting “weird” after a while. On investigating further, it turned out that he had yet another girl on the side and was taking us all along for a ride. She was more heart broken that you could ever imagine because she really did love him.
The thing is that since we were friends, I expected him to atleast be honest with me and her too. He has since distanced himself from both of us and has gone to the extent of telling most of our mutual friends that we are just being “b****y” because we wanted him but he wouldn’t have either of us.
Oddly enough, I never felt anything more than sad for him because he was still going around living a lie even after he had wrecked his reputation with more friends. The reason why I say this is because even his other friends who know both of us found out and were not too happy about it. So basically, he just lost out on more than he expected.
I just hope the girl he has right now, will really see him for what he is and leave his cheating a**.
12 Comments so far...
RiPPa
Says:
22 July 2008 at 9:08 pm.
Ok, so what if the chick he’s with now is his last stop. How would you feel about that?
[Reply]
"Author"
Says:
23 July 2008 at 1:17 am.
I dont think she knows about us. Plus, from what i’ve seen, she’s the type to go crazy if you even insinuate that he’s anything other than perfect. She’ll find out on her own if there’s anything to find out.
RiPPa may be right, maybe he’s changed for the better and she’s his last stop. If so, im happy for her because he can be very sweet and nice when he’s means to. (but i highly doubt it.)
[Reply]
RiPPa
Says:
23 July 2008 at 2:59 am.
My bad, I assumed it was your story. I was just wondering if dude decided to be an adult, and be in a commited relationship, how would the “author” feel about that.
[Reply]
"Author"
Says:
24 July 2008 at 1:17 am.
Like I said, if he’s changed for the better, good for him and her too. I cant feel jealous of her because i already had my chance and it didnt go well. Plus, if he didnt respect our friendship, i wouldnt expect him to respect me as a person or any other kind of relationship we may have heard between us.
Obviously, everyone has a chance in life to change at some point in time. I dont expect him to go around being the same kind of person forever … but at the same time, I also dont think that he’s changing anytime soon. The reason is because he sort of has this celebrity status thing going for him because of what he does for a living. That makes him think he is above everyone else and thats what made him “bored” with me and my friend because neither of us saw him as anything else except normal. He wanted us to “worship” him and when we didnt, he made sure we understood that he wasnt going to stand for it.
Its weird that more often than not, things become clearer after a while when you’ve had the chance to look at them calmly. I now understand that he needs to grow up more than anything else. He is not ready for an adult relationship and he has a long way to go before he will be.
[Reply]
Yashieka Reply:
July 24th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Well said “if he didnt respect our friendship, i wouldnt expect him to respect me as a person or any other kind of relationship we may have heard between us.”
I think as humans we hope for the best and sometimes neglect signs that show us who certain people are. At the age of 30, I’m still learning how to listen to both my heart and my brain, because each one a lone can lead me astray both of them together….GOLDEN
[Reply]
Yesha Reply:
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?
Are you referring to Adrian? LOL
Just as long as women google him, they’ll know his deal.
[Reply]
Yashieka Reply:
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I was asking the “author” the question…lol
[Reply]