23 July 2008
Reflection: Loving the Lova
Posted by
Shieka
under:
Reflection .
First let me say my heart goes out to you. With that said, let’s press on to reflection.
So what’s a girl to do? Our author seems to have done all “right” things, so how could things go so wrong? Is it difficult loving the Lova? After going through a similar ordeal myself, I realized there a certain things you should and should not accept when you’re in a “relationship.”
While Mr. Lova’s was wrong (can’t stress that enough), I believe boundaries, expectations, and rules needed to be established with this “relationship.” While many women don’t want to be viewed as a ”nag,” I believe we still need to speak up when we have an issue. Ask the questions that need to be asked. Are we in a monogamous relationship? Am I an option? In addition, I believe it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. When you do “this” it makes me feel like “this.” Communication…
From what I’ve read, Mr. Lova was given a key to your “house” and used that key often as he walked in and out of your door as he pleased with no other explanation than he needed ”space.” In hindsight, you now realize he used that “space” to pursue other women. Do I think things would’ve turned out different if you had spoke up? I’m not really sure.
In giving my advice, I’m hoping some women will take a more proactive role in defining the boundaries, expectations, and rules of their “relationships. I will leave you with my favorite quote which I live by “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
2 Comments so far...
Keyshia
Says:
24 July 2008 at 1:35 am.
You’re absolutely right in pointing out that communication is the key to success.
Assumptions are probably what made it hard for the “author” to ask Mr. Lova those questions. I guess when you know someone for a certain amount of time and you develop a closeness, you tend to asssume that they wouldnt hurt you. You also tend to assume that both of you are being totally honest with each other. And dont forget that even the most guarded of all people have a soft spot that may be exploited in a moment of weakness.
Its sad that the one person you wouldnt expect to exploit that soft spot is the one who actually does …
[Reply]
Yashieka
Says:
24 July 2008 at 10:01 am.
It’s always the people we love the most whom tend to disappoint the worst. I’ve learned that even with me knowing someone, I should never assume they know how to speak “my” language.
There are some SELFISH people out there and unfortunately our paths will cross in life. We just have to realize not eveyone thinks about other people’s feelings before thiers….
[Reply]
