28 July 2008
The Bougie Chick Who Hates Snoring
Posted by
Esha
under:
Weekend Recaps .
There are a couple of adjectives I like to use to describe myself: intelligent, honest, sarcastic, outgoing, trustworthy, moody and somewhat superficial (yes, I can admit that). A few days ago I was talking to a guy I recently met, I immediately knew he wasn’t my type but I didn’t have any problems conversing with him (remember, conversate is not a word). The one thing that stuck out about him was his ability to make me laugh, and that goes a long way. During this LAST conversation of ours, he asked me what were some of my favorite restaurants in the area, pretty simple question I thought. So I named a few, like Oceanaire, Copelands and Cheese Cake Factory. There was a short pause in the conversation, then he asked, “So you don’t like FRIDAY’S?”. 
*record scratches*
*queue the sound of crickets* Because that’s how long my pause was.
I replied, “If I can buy your food from the frozen food aisle, then there’s no point in me going to your restaurant”. That was a pretty honest answer.
“Oh, so you’re one of those bougie black chicks?”, he says.
Yes, people, I was just called bougie by a white guy.
“Hole-up, Just because you may be a hot commodity to some of the black women in this area, doesn’t make you one for me. You asked a question, I gave you an answer. NO I don’t like Friday’s. I go there for a quick drink sometimes, that’s about it. See, this is also where our ‘disconnect’ is. I prefer my white men to be more like Ambercrombie & Fitch, instead of the Down Town Locker Room type, such as yourself.”
Needless to say, he had no retort. I told him it was nice shooting the shit with him, but I don’t deal with people who hardly know me and choose to label me, so needless to say, that was our last conversation.
Saturday evening, I decided to spend some time with my half-of-a-significant other. It’s odd because in my mind I’m already single because I decided a while ago that we just were not compatible, I just haven’t gotten around to telling him because of his work schedule. Work is his life. It is all he ever talks about. It’s such a shame because he’s always a gentleman, but he bores me.
Anywho, I decided to spend the night because I was too tired to drive back home. At this point I was pretty much eyeing the couch as my resting place. But of course he had other intentions. I made it clear to him that I was exhausted and just wanted to get some sleep. So we’re in the bed and no less than 5 minutes after him laying his head down, I thought I was going to puke.
THE SNORING WAS UNBEAREABLE! 
It felt as if I was sleeping with a bunch of dogs baying at the moan! Snorting, coughing, more snorting, more coughing. It was crazy. Now, I knew he had an occasional snoring issue, but this mess was ridiculous. After about 20 minutes of listening to him practically giving himself a tonsillectomy from the snoring, I had to nudge him in the ribs to wake him up. He wanted to know what happened, and I said I couldn’t sleep because of his snoring. Next thing I know, he gets up and goes to his closet and pulls out this breathing apparatus. Uh. Ok. WTF is that? Come to find out, he has a sleep apnea and he says the doctor gave him the machine to help him not snore at night. Well howdy-fucking-do…why is it that NOW you want to pull it out?? After all of these months of me having sleepless nights when I spent the night at his house?
So he puts on his little breathing mask and 10 minutes later, he’s asleep, and not snoring. All I could do was lay there and shake my head. Needless to say, I doubt he’ll ever need to use the machine in my presence again, because not only is it over in my head, this weekend I’ll officially make it over between the both of us.
8 Comments so far...
Yashieka
Says:
28 July 2008 at 9:59 am.
Yashieka does not eat at Applebees or TGIF. I will grab a couple of their magaritas, that’s about it! Does that make me bougie? Um, I don’t think so…I just prefer to eat some place where my food will have FLAVOR. If that makes me “bougie” I’ll wear the big “B” on my chest and dare someone to say something!
…and there’s nothing worse than sleeping with someone who sounds like they are trying to suck in the ceiling. As soon as he would’ve started snoring, I would’ve picked up my pillow and ran to the living room. Either sleep in another room or bring a bottle of benadryl ( I still owe you a bottle) with you. Benadryl does the trick all the time. Lol…
[Reply]
Devone
Says:
28 July 2008 at 11:16 am.
HAHA, yeah that snoring thing is wild. I know I never used to snore a few years back, but now I have been told that I snore like crazy lol……..but I do need to go to the doc to find out how I can nullify that mess cuz that is not sexy lol
[Reply]
LAMONT
Says:
28 July 2008 at 11:42 pm.
I was thinking maybe he has sleep apnea before you said it. I have sleep apnea too(was diagnosed like 5 years ago), and to be honest it looks like I’m on life support when I have the cpap machine on, and sounds like i’m dark vader too with the air flow….LOL, so it may have been a thing where by he was extremely self-concious about having it on in front of you.
On another note, Copelands cheesecake is retardedly scrump-tilius( i know it aint a word!!)
[Reply]
Keyshia
Says:
29 July 2008 at 10:22 am.
lol @ LAMONT … whats more embarrassing? Snoring so loud everyone in Madagascar can hear you, or wearing the machine? I think i’d rather wear the contraption any time. Plus, a woman/man who’s taken the time to know you obviously knows you arent perfect. And if she/he notices that youre making and effort to improve or work on whatever it is you fall short of, im sure its highly appreciated.
@ Yesha : that dude thought he had you all figured out, huh? Lol
[Reply]
Yesha Reply:
July 28th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I’m going to need you to stop peddling benadryl..LOL! You do know benadryl is not VEGAN? LOL
Just joking
I have no problem in having drinks at Friday’s for happy hour, but I can make better food at home!
The snoring is something I cannot deal with and then to top it off, I had to listen to airflow the rest of the night!!!
[Reply]
Yashieka Reply:
July 29th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I’m saying though…Benadryl is the drug of choice (for me) lol. Slowly but surely you will make your way over to a VEGAN diet.
I LOVE the drinks at Friday’s! FRUITY and SWEET…especially good for an after work buzz. I’m with you about the food…NASTY
LMAO @ the airflow the rest of the night!
BOUGIE CHICKS UNITE!
[Reply]