7 August 2008
Why Guys Withdraw Even Though They’re in Love…
Posted by
Yashieka
under:
Misc.; Open Discussions .
From DDHG.
Guys are afraid of love and that’s the bottom line. I’m The Average Guy, I should know. But it’s not necessarily the kind of fear you might think.
Guys fall in love with women and then pull away for two reasons, both fear-based. One, he’s afraid he’s settling for a girl just because of the great sex, her good looks and the great conversation. He’s thinking, what if there’s another girl out there better than her for me? So he withdraws from the relationship to go find that other perfect girl.
The other reason is because he’s met his match and he’s terrified. Of all the women on Earth, he’s found the one for him and it scares the **** out of him. He doesn’t know how to deal with something so powerful, so he breaks it off and runs for his life not realizing the opportunity he’s given up by withdrawing from the relationship.
So what you can you do if your guy is withdrawing from your relationship? The easiest thing to do is to ask him about him. Tell him that you’ve noticed the distance and you’re afraid of losing him. Ask him if he’d like to talk about whatever it is that is causing him to withdraw.
And if it’s because he thinks he’s settling, don’t go crazy. Just realize that this is not the relationship for you. You can’t make a guy think you’re the best woman on Earth for him. You’ve just got to move on and look for the guy who really is your perfect match! — The Average Guy
Ladies, are you or have you been a “victim” of what’s being described above?
Fellas, have you ever been guilty of what’s being described above?
4 Comments so far...
LAMONT
Says:
7 August 2008 at 6:02 pm.
*stands up and states, my name is Lamont and I’m a withdrawer* but not necessarily for the reasons stated above. My withdrawing had to do more with me finding me, learning me, and loving me, as I was in a really bad place mentally and emotionally when I withdrew….that time
Another reason I’ve been known to withdraw is, dare I say, protecting my heart. I’ve been engaged before and the break-up was kinda sudden and it really sent me for a spin. I’ve learned and still in the process learning for that reason that all women aint money hungry, spoiled babies just some of them.
[Reply]
Noo
Says:
8 August 2008 at 6:28 am.
I am going through this at the moment. I have been involved with a guy on and off for about a year. We’ve had rough patches, and smooth, but more rough to be honest. He has recently relocated to the US and I went over there to spend the weekend with him. Within hours he told me he loved me and wanted me to go out there and be with him, that his barriers were down and its just takes him a long time to trust.. because of his past (he’s divorced) bla bla bla. This was the case all weekend. We had an amazing time, he was very attentive, and telling me constantly he loved me, and we were thinking of ways I could join him. Then comes the dreaded “pull back phase” I felt it coming on the day i left as he was being cold and grumpy. I got home and heard nothing, so I emailed him after a few days. He was polite enough and a few mails were exchanged. That was last week Weds so its been over a week. Then he came back to the UK, came into the office (as we work for same company) and pratically blanked me! He was back for the weekend and not so much as a text, or a call, then he goes back to the US.. and still nothing. Its so hurtful and i would love to know his reasons. Yes i could say he’s just not interested… But I’m not stupid, i know i mean something to him, and its not just making myself feel better because if that was the case I would just say and move on. The weekend was fantastic and we are so compatible.. its quite scary… How you can be so intimate with someone, then so cold! Help…. Just want to make him/us happy.
[Reply]
Slim Jackson
Says:
10 August 2008 at 1:11 pm.
Call me crazy, but I know a lot of women that withdraw and shut down fairly easily when in a relationship. I also think men are more protective of their egos because they have to present a strong image. So yeah, we withdraw as well, but to some degree that’s what’s expected.
I just started a new blog that tackles relationships and a bunch of other relevant topics. Check me it out at http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com and this blog is about what it sounds like from the name. Get your mind out of the gutter!
[Reply]
Noo Reply:
August 8th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Not at all, there’s some nice women out there…. You’ve just met the wrong ones hun..
Maybe my guy thinks that?J eez, some women give us a really bad name.
[Reply]